I wish this was moving pictures, but it’s not. You’ll just have to follow the link and scroll. Trust me. It is worth the effort. I am still cleaning cafe au lait off my monitor. (And I find it rather fitting that somewhere in the world today, there is a total solar eclipse.)

LOLCat Repertory Players Strike Again.

First, a bit of updating since I’ve been MIA this week. *points to picture* I won’t be moving into my new office any time in the near future. That wonderful new “skylight” appeared in the ceiling by *magic* on Wednesday night during dinner. Uhm…yeah. Roof leak + dry wall = ceiling fail.

In the good news column, I’m finally happy with the first three chapters of SEASON OF THE WITCH. Yes, really. I’ve roughed out the synopsis and I’m fighting with it now. I’ve also finished the preliminary galley proofing on FAIRY TALES CAN COME TRUE. It’s happily in the hands of Ms. Editor 2.0. I’m still watching the inbox for cover art and will share it as soon as I have it in my grubby little hands. Despite all the curve balls life has thrown at me, I’m feeling…nope. I’m not going to say optimistic. I’ll let it go at “okay.”

Now…to the fun! Are you ready? Grab those nearby books, folks! This week, let’s go to page 123. Scan to the bottom of the page and list the last complete sentence on the page. For those of us using e-readers, we get to play, too! Open your current read, to the current page, and find the last complete sentence on the screen. That’s your mission! Now, let’s “write” a story. Be sure to tell us author and title!

Here’s mine. I’m reading Julie Leto’s THREE SEDUCTIONS AND A WEDDING:

Still, she had a way of making the word man sound as if Jessie should, in a complete role reversal, demand her mother wash her mouth out with soap.

Those of you concerned about the flooding here, it missed us–mostly. We’re on high ground and while this part of the metro got 6-7 inches of rain, up north received nearly twice that much. All those dramatic photos on the news came from the Edmond area. However, because the room I use as an office was jerry-rigged long ago, it took a “direct hit.” I won’t go into the architectural details, but I was standing ankle deep in water trying to stem the tide at 4 a.m. yesterday morning. Nothing important was ruined but dealing with the aftermath has left me frustrated and out of sorts. The fact I have hard deadlines plus stressing over submitting SEASON OF THE WITCH has left little room for blog-hopping or posting here. I hope to be back tomorrow, but that depends on a lot of factors. I promise to be back by Friday!

Thanks for everyone’s concern. Y’all rock! Yes, really!

If you haven’t seen this video explaining the television show LOST, then you’ve probably been under a rock the past week or so. However, I find it absolutely hysterical and think it makes as much sense as anything else about that show.

And…from the “What were they thinkin’?!?” files, England introduces their 2012 Olympic mascots. They even hired a childrens’ book author to create a story for the…critters(?). I’m not quite sure what to call them, because cuddly they aren’t!

Here are some WTF links I’ve come across lately.

Werewolf cakes. Yes. Really.

Nip-Tuck (or why high-waisted jeans should be in vogue. I just don’t know what to say. Except, are her legs so skinny because everything was pushed upwards?

State of the Awful. And this is why there should be jeans, period!

Oh, Poop. If there’s a nurse in your life….run!

What about y’all? Any F-ery to share?

Ya’ll just thought I was gone! My evil lurks. I have no clue where I am today. This was posted way back before I ever left. *bwahaha* I dare you not to boggle.

I know Mercury is in retrograde. I know yesterday was Monday. But teh stupid was rolling uphill. All day. Just sayin’. Srsly. Here’s a sample of what I faced yesterday (and how sad is it that the most exercise I get in a day is walking through Walmart?):

1. If you go out in public wearing pink rollers in your hair and you’re driving a car with a bumper sticker pertaining to the rapture, you DESERVE to go through eternity with those damn things stuck in your hair!

2. If you can’t walk and talk on the phone at the same time (Hello! You lost your shoe…), what makes you think you can drive?

3. If you let your child sit in the toddler cart with no safety strap, you are stupid enough to step on said kid when he falls out on the floor. Do not blame the kid for your big feet.

4. If you are pushing a fully loaded cart, your mother is pushing a babystroller, and your six-year-old is pushing an empty cart, DO NOT STOP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE AISLE THREE ABREAST TO DISCUSS THE VIRTUES OF TACO BELL COMPARED TO OLD EL PASO!

5. Hey, lady! (Using that term VERY loosely!) If your child takes a bite out of an apple and you hide it back in the stack of apples, do not be offended when the produce manager approaches you and asks you to buy the freakin’ apple!

6. You! Yes, you with the full cart. I’m talkin’ to you! Do not even look at the 20 Items or Less lane. Don’t go there. No. You’re going there! Do not make me hurt you.

7. Dude! That’s Clorox bleach. Why are you taking off the lid to smell it? And why did you lay it down on it’s side in your basket with the lid put back on crooked (and leaving a drip trail in your wake)?

8. Lady? At 5’3″ and at least 300 pounds, they don’t make a thong your size. Promise! (I wonder where the guy with the bleach is? I need some for my eyes!)

9. If my eyes water as I pass you in the aisle, I don’t think there is enough room freshener in the whole freakin’ store to take care of the problem. Just sayin’.

10. I got my summons to Jury Duty in the mail. Oh joy. October will be interesting…*headdesk*

So…have you been surround by people eating bowls of stupid today? Tell us about it…share your misery with us!

I’m off high-center. I think. So I’m hiding out today. Writing. Madly writing. Lots and lots of words that aren’t a blog, twitter, or comment. See? I’m absent from the net. Srsly! But I wanted to leave y’all something to do in my absence. I dare you to not only check this link, but to actually listen: The World’s Most Unwanted Song.

And speaking of links, before you tweet, text, or post, stop and think. Because THIS is what might happen if you don’t. Real friends don’t let friends tweet drunk. Just step away from the keyboard… (To give you a preview, this is a text from yesterday: At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump)

Anybody have ideas for brunch?

Why, you ask? Because I am evil. And because I can.

For comparision purposes…

And because this is just so wrong on so many different levels but works so very well…Nine Inch Fever

I just can’t stop myself….

I have 13 pieces of spam in the filter. Talk about a WTF!?! moment…Most of them are for porn sites, followed by an internet dating site, help for erectile dysfunction, and a link titled: Knifty Knitter Afaghan patterns. Afaghan? Hrm…No. I didn’t click on it! After the “key words” from the previous comments? Not going there!

Life is almost normal again. We’ll probably get started on the shower again this weekend. And I have to find a pirate hat for my costume for New Orleans. Did I mention I’m going to Heather Graham’s Writers for New Orleans conference? And having THREE pitch appointments? *flail* Makes me wish I’d actually gone to one of the classes about making a pitch when I was at Nationals. So…dear, kind, wonderful writer friends… How many of you have made a pitch? Got any hints? Advice? Margaritas? What goes on after the elevator pitch? What sort of follow-up questions might be asked? What sort of questions should I ask, if there’s time? ARGH! *whimper*

Okay. So what else is going on in the world? Anybody have good news to share? Read any good books? Anybody have, heaven forbid, bad news? Need commiserating? Here…have a margarita! Yes. On Friday, that’s my advice/solution for everything! Be sure to stop by tomorrow. We’ll be celebrating Paula’s birthday with a studly smorgasbord!